And the reasons why this is harder to pursue.
The female organ that is solely responsible for your pleasure. Your sexual pleasure. Maybe you've already discovered your clitoris. It's that little bump at the top of your vulva. But I have to tell you something surprising about this. The little knob you see is actually not that small at all. The clitoris is actually about 9-12cm in size. On the inside, the clitoris continues into two 'legs' and also contains two erectile tissues. When excited, these erectile tissues will fill with blood and go from a flaccid state to a hard state. For example, we also speak of an 'erection state' in women, just like in men. So we are not as biologically different as we might think. More importantly, the organ contains about 10,281 nerve endings. For those wondering whether this is a lot, I can make the comparison with the penis, which contains only 4,000.
Although a lot is known about the pleasure organ today, it still does not receive the attention it deserves in many sexual relationships. Which is a shame because more than half of women need clitoral stimulation. So it is a myth that the majority of women can orgasm through penetration. This myth causes women to keep asking themselves questions about what is wrong when this is not the case for them. It leads to an insecure feeling that we are now going to remove. There are fewer nerve endings within the vagina, which makes penetrative sex less stimulating for many women. About 70 to 80% of women need more stimulation to reach their climax. This is also completely normal if you keep in mind that the clitoris has 10281 nerve endings. So let's give the pleasure organ the love it deserves! Halleluja!
There are a lot of sex toys to please a woman. This is partly because penetration alone is not sufficient in many cases as stated. But despite the added value that these toys can have, they are often seen as 'competition'. There is resistance to the use of sex toys. This is because feelings of uncertainty arise about one's own genitals and whether this is sufficient if a vibrator is used. Furthermore, there is also uncertainty about performance. Men prefer to please their woman themselves and not to be 'replaced'. There are also many women who do not purchase sex toys because they do not want to 'offend' their partner. Oh well.. I'm here to tell you that sex toys are an enrichment and not a competition. Men should have knowledge about the female body and as I have discussed, penetration alone is often not enough. A toy can give the woman the pleasure she deserves and this can ensure that she and therefor you, are more relaxed during sex.
Media gives us an idea of what an 'ideal sex life' should look like. The 'perfect' bodies, the intense and passionate love scene, the exaggerated romance, etc. However, what we see, hear and read is not a reflection of reality. Media creates desires that entail risks. This gives us unrealistic expectations. We can therefore feel insecurity or shame if we do not meet this 'so-called' standard. All this results in the suppression of our sexual freedom and the pursuit of female pleasure. It can be difficult to express yourself sexually if you don't feel good about yourself and/or have unrealistic expectations or desires. Every body is beautiful as it is in all colors and shapes. Every imperfection such as cellulite, stretch marks, scars and so on are part of your body and being a woman. Embrace yourself and find strength in who you see when you look in the mirror! And most important: don’t let anybody tell you who you should or should not be.
The last and greatest oppression of the sexual pleasure for women is slut shaming. There is a double sexual standard in society regarding bed partners. This means that two people perform the same behavior but are assessed differently. While men are allowed to have as many bed partners as they want, a woman is judged for this. How can a woman express herself sexually if she is at risk of judgment from others? That is why women will be more careful with their sexuality or will experience mixed emotions when they do express themselves sexually. This can make them feel bad and ashamed or insecure. This sexual double standard limits women and creates negative connotations that can have negative consequences in exploring the sexual self. So I say we get rid of it! Let's all do what we want and not be judged by it.
In general, I want to make it clear that a lot needs to change and that everyone can contribute, but above all: don't be reluctant when it comes to your sexual pleasure. You have the power to decide this yourself!