Learning to love my body as a mom

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Learning to love my body as a mom

After becoming a mom for the first time, I gained a significant amount of weight. I went from a size S, to an L and at a given moment even an XL. It was hard getting used to my new body, I didn’t feel pretty for a very long time. I had just turned 23, extremely awkward with my body and very self-conscious. I saw being pretty as something that went paired with weight. I wish I knew then what I know now; beauty comes from within. When you take care of yourself, feel good about your looks and most importantly; know who you are, you radiate it.

I made the choice to quit regular modelling before I even became pregnant. Though it has many positive aspects, it can be very demanding and hard. I was thinner than I had ever been before, a size XS was too big. It’s very hard to look back at pictures from that period of time, my ribs were extremely visible and I was still insecure about not being skinny enough. The positive side of modelling for me was travelling and the shoots. I have always enjoyed being in front of a camera and it gave me a boost of self-confidence (but that isn’t so hard with cute clothes and your hair and make-up done). I especially enjoyed the creative shoots, to be so in a moment or be and create the image they want to have.

I got scouted to become a model again at 24, plus size this time. I liked the idea of representing bigger sizes, but I really struggled with the lack of knowledge about my own body. I was very awkward and incredibly self-critical. I enjoyed modelling drastically less than before because of this. During shoots I was constantly worrying about looking fat and having a double chin. I quit modelling again because it made me so insecure. In retrospect, it wasn’t being a model that made me insecure, it was me.

I really started loving my body during my 2nd  pregnancy, maybe for the first time in my life. Maybe this was just something that comes with age, but I believe that the people surrounding me also helped.

My partner and I have a good sex-life with each other, we like to try new things and take the time to do this. Using accessories during sex is also something we enjoy doing. Last May I gave birth to our first son together. The first weeks after giving birth, I didn’t feel the need to have intercourse. After a month or two I started feeling like getting intimate again. I read somewhere that your first orgasm after birth could cause cramps, this is why I wanted to be alone during my orgasm. For my first orgasm after, I used the sunflower tool. The sweet and gorgeous design with the suction-tool and sensational vibrations gave a wonderful orgasm. My partner and I like to use the iris multitool together. Next to the beautiful smooth curves  it has, we also like that it’s environmentally friendly. With the Iris I give my partner sensual massages and at a certain moment he takes over the tool to please me. We love to use this tool when we’re able to take the time for each other.